Don't Just Apologize - Revise!

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

Apologizing for your mistakes is a great way to take a step back, get the ego in check and show that you understand and care for someone else.
But if you don't follow it up with action then it really falls short of helping you to live and 'be' more harmoniously with others, and for continued self-development, growth and learning.
Sometimes apologies are not even worth the breath...you're better off simply thinking "Instead of apologizing what should I do to live the actions I know I should be taking?" In other words, STOP and start doing the right thing, instead of apologizing and risking repeating the same negative actions (and the need to continue apologizing!) over and over again.

When you feel the need to apologize do it, but also ask yourself; "How can I act in the future that will not require apologies."
And then do that...

~ Blessings
Cliff

Stop Organising, Start Doing

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

Sometimes you just have to sit down at your computer, open your emails, start at the bottom and work your way through until they are all actioned.
And I'm not just talking about emails, but any list of tasks, or set of 'stuff' that needs to be done.
Organisation is fantastic, and being organised so that you get less emails, or have less of any inconsequential tasks to do is essential to getting more value out of your available time.
BUT organisation and constant deferring, especially of the 'important' but not 'urgent' tasks can become just another way to procrastinate. And even if it's not the most efficient or effective method all of the time, at least some of the time simply sitting down to fully clear a list of things to do is what you must do to find clarity and a fresh start.

~ Blessings,
Cliff

Pride Comes Before a Fall...

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

It seems that so often in life just when you think you it all sorted out the universe gives you a swift kick up the backside to remind you that you're not 'all that'.

Whether it's thinking that we 'finally' have the perfect job, or the perfect relationship, or that we are the strongest, best looking, fittest, most intelligent [insert your own ego-driven fantasy here!] person around, something comes along to show us that we are fallible.
This fallibility just serves to show us how transient all things are. How whatever arises must ultimately fall, and most of all that life is a process not a destination, nor even a series of destinations but a beautiful dance of interrelationships and dynamics between us, others and the world within and around us.

There is no shame in falling, as it reminds us to not get tied up in our own sense of self importance. Falling allows us the opportunity to learn and grow and develop the strength to get back up (if need be time and time again) and to live as part of this flow.
Ultimately it serves to show that we are an integral, unique and divine part of a greater whole, and that we are not greater than others we share this universe with.

~ Blessings,
Cliff

Give Yourself the Gift of Time [AKA - Be Strict with your Personal Diary]

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

How often do you book time aside in your diary for things for you?

How often do you change those 'self-appointments' to accommodate someone else?

Booking aside time for oneself is one of the best ways you can ensure that you do the things that you truly love doing. But so often we compromise our time in ways that we wouldn't compromise time set aside for someone else. If for example we have a work-meeting booked we would seldom feel as if we could change it on the fly, but we will change, or even cancel our own self-dates and self-appointments to fit around other people and to do things for others.

Now I'm not suggesting that we should become inflexible, nor that we shouldn't do things for other people (giving of ourselves and being of service is one of the greatest joys in life!) but neither should we give away too much of our precious time to do the supposedly 'urgent' at the expense of the truly important.

Think about your own time in the same way as the oxygen masks on a plane...apply yours first because without looking after yourself you're going to be in no good shape to help others.

~ Blessings,
Cliff

There's No Going Back!

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

“Never retreat, never surrender”…is the best way to end up in a hole…

The idea that we should continue to work stoically on a project until we have made a success of it is deeply ingrained within us. Perhaps it’s the protestant work ethic that is instilled in from birth, or perhaps it’s the fear of failure and of failing that drives us to continue to work when perhaps a retreat, or all out surrender would be a better option!

Those who know my writing know that I am a big fan of doing ‘the work’ to get what you want out of life, and to do the most important things to live closer and closer to your life of passion and purpose. Which inevitably often involves hard work. But in spite of that there are times when each of us need to assess whether continuing down the same single focused track is the best way to in fact achieve these greater goals.

Seth Godin in ‘The Dip’ has written about the value of giving up on lost causes (a great read by the way) and we all know from our life experience that sometimes in order to move forward towards our ultimate goals (not just our short term ones) that we need to take a step sideways, or backwards…or stop on the path just a while to reassess.

The reality is that we can never go back anyway! Our ideas of ‘going backwards’ are in fact an illusion. Life is a process and we can only ever be ‘in the process’ i.e. moving forward and so the only logical thing to be done is to choose the best path ‘forward’ even if that path happens to lead backwards!

We all make mistakes. But instead of deriding ourselves for them we need to instead always look to them as our greatest teachings, an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve. And we must too be comfortable with failing over and over again, because to achieve the greatest rewards in life there will always be risk, and always some wrong turns made along the path of passion and purpose. Embracing the risk, and embracing those failures as part of the wondrous process of this life lived well is integral to living the shitout of life!

~Blessings

Cliff

Do it first, do it everyday

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

One of the reasons people fail in the endeavours that will lead them closer to their big goals and ultimately to living closer to their life of passion and purpose is not doing 'the work'. 

For example I'm often asked about how to become a writer and my answer (also a favourite reply of my good friend Ian Brooks) is; "Are you writing?". 

The reality is that no one is born a writer, born an athlete or 'born' as anything else they may choose to do. Notwithstanding of course that some people are more 'natural' at certain  pursuits or have attributes that will ultimately allow them to be better than average (or extraordinary). But the point remains that although a genetic or other base may be present, doing 'the work' is still the key link in actually making anything happen! (of course...)

And one of the very best ways to create a pattern of behavior is to do those priority actions each and every day. A quote from the great wrestler and coach Dan Gable goes "If it's important do it everyday...if it's not important don't so it at all". This adage is a powerful call to action to be circumspect with your time and to do the work that matters and to not waste time with the extraneous. 

Doing the important things first in your day is THE most powerful technique that I have used for getting things done. In the modern world it is far too easy to become distracted over a hectic day and to lose the passion, inspiration and energy to do the important things. That's why doing them  first is so critical. 

It ensures that 1) they actually get done, 2) that they are given the appropriate energy and intention and 3) that they are preeminent in your mind-set (a key part of encouraging the creation of the neural pathways associated with this desired pattern of action-->being.)

Define one or two of the most important daily activities that you'd like to be doing as part of your life of passion and purpose and begin to do them each and every day!

~ Blessings,

Cliff

The Fear of Loss

[Post by Cliff Harvey]

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times; “The greatest human fear is the fear of loss”.

The oft quoted (nowadays at least) FOMO or ‘fear of missing out’ is just another aspect of the more ubiquitous fear of loss that we all experience, and that for many of us can at times be crippling.

Fear of loss can keep us in the wrong job and the wrong relationships because we fear the loss of ‘stuff’ that those situations provide us like stability, security and companionship. Alternately fear of loss (or in this instance the ‘fear of losing out’) can propel us into the wrong situations!

Confused yet?!

The key though in any situation is not to stay or go.

Either option may be the right one for you.

The important thing instead is to look within and ask yourself whether you are being pushed or pulled by the fear of loss and if that fear is unjustified in the face of the greater gain or the opportunity to grow, learn and evolve you must face that fear and do what you know to be in line with your ultimate life of passion and purpose. 

Blessings,

Cliff