Wednesday, July 11, 2007

dOg Talks...on the calamities in life!...

The calamities in life...those that push us close to the edge (so close that we nearly, nearly fall) we all rationally know are the things that provide us the opportunity for the introspection to see our own shortcomings, and the teachings that can allow us to grow as human beings - if only we let them!

Conversely the trials, tribulations and hardships in life can harden us & make us cynical & bitter.
We can even mistake this for growth and development. We can easily equate 'strength' with hardness and guardedness - but I can't help but think that these are but walls that we build up to try and shield ourselves in future from the pain of loss, the very pain that first encourages us to begin building those walls...

But at what price!
Heartbreak, loss, grief, anguish - all of these things WILL befall each and every one of us, and more than once and no matter how guarded we become.
It's true that we may not be at risk quite so much if we don't allow ourselves to love (and live!) fully but niether could we experience the full joys of a life lived to the full without it.
The joys of the spring-time of romance, the joy of that nervous excitement and expectation when you hear the footfall of the one you love nearing the door after a long day. The joy of a baby's cry and of a cracked and weathered smile from a beloved elder. None of these ring true to a closed heart...and what a price to pay!

The words of Max Ehrman's seminal 'Desiderata' are poignant for so much of life, and, in the case of love "...neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disappointment it is as perennial as the grass..."

I know that looking back over my time it is the trials that have given me a swift and much needed kick in the pants. More than anything else the hardships we face can make us more human. They have made me a better nutritionist and they have led me into life coaching.

It is amazing that lately, facing perhaps my darkest ever moments, (and almost by ozmosis!) clients - some old and some new have appeared to ask my help with many of the same questions I have been asking myself.
Perhaps without the soul searching, the re-appraisals of what is and isn't important in life, I would be ill equipped to help them.

How could I after all empathise with others about loss and grief had I also not lost so many who were so very important to me over the years?
How else could I relate to my clients facing lifelong and potentially debilitating illnesses had I not too faced the same spectre?

And so, in the face of our demons we do become stronger - but we need not become hardened. We become more empathetic, and more understanding. We open to love and to trust without pulling away for fear of being hurt, because hurt is a part of life. We avoid putting ourselves in the way of unecessary hurt but we just can't avoid it if we want to live a full and meaningful life.

We begin more and more to understand the reasons why people do things, but less inclined to accept excuses, for after all it is our actions that define us, and it is what we 'do' that affects us and those around us. And when we want to live meaningfully, with compassion, love and purpose we must at some stage stop making excuses, take responsibility and DO SOMETHING!!!

We accept our own failures and the faults of others with loving kindness. We still hate when people do things that hurt - but we don't hate the 'doer!' merely the action, because I for one believe...in fact I know, that we can't lose our trust in peoples goodness...

Remember that Cliff's book "Choosing You!" will be released at the end of month. To find out more, or to preorder CLICK HERE!

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